Neutral Thread, or ~ML

[no_need]

MeiTow, that site looks really useful - I've been lamenting that I learned to speak Italian when I lived there a few years ago, but have forgotten it all because I have no one to practise on any more. I might give it a go. Thanks

(Bummer about your streak though!)

[SunkistShiek]

I've needed to get something off my chest for a while and, although I should be sharing this with my friends and family on Facebook because it would pertain to them more, I'm not brave enough to do that....yet. However, I knew this would be a good place to share where I wouldn't be judged and gives me time to practice what I would say if I ever get the courage.

This year, for me, has been one of the roughest, toughest cowboys in the west. In comparison, the person I was last year to the one I am this year, is so completely different, it terrifies me and at some points makes me very sad. I'm not sure at what turn it happened, but it's like I hit the sturdiest, hardest brick wall and I shattered the person and their ideals/goals/ambitions/etc. that I was, was left with this new person, and didn't really take many of the old pieces with the new one. It was that fast, that shocking, and that scary. This new person isn't sure if it's a good or bad thing. I mean, I miss a lot of the other me, but know that I'm never going to get that one back, and I'm not sure if I'm ok with that yet. And if I'm not ok with that, then how can other people be ok with it? That's why I feel that I don't talk to a lot of the people that I should/used to (i.e. family/friends). I'm proud of what I've done, but not with what I'm doing currently and don't know how to get back to being proud of what I'm doing. However, at least I'm still going. And hopefully one day, I'll get out of this "funk" and be able to say, "yes, I've been through that but I'm happy of who I am now", but that day isn't today nor tomorrow. It is an unmarked day in the future and I hope that it gets here soon, because dealing with trying to be comfortable in this new person and trying to do damage control (to some extent) for what the other one did, is unbelievably difficult.

[Hellfire]

I've always wanted to be a science technician at a school. That way I can help the students but not have the pressures of teaching. Marking does not appeal to me. I finally found one being advertised that I applied for, with the deadline being last Tuesday.
My biggest fault is self doubt, so when a few days had past after the deadline and I'd heard nothing, I figured I hadn't been short listed for an interview.

But low and behold, checked my emails this morning and I have been invited to an interview.

One more step towards the job I want, and one more away from being a checkout girl at a supermarket.

[QueenBex]

I have a random large bruise across my stomach... O.o


Also I seem to be getting dizzy when I'm at my Mum's place, could be just one of those things, but I hate being really dizzy and it's happened twice now. Hot flushes head rushes and random bruises. Hmm...

[SuperKJ]

I've needed to get something off my chest for a while and, although I should be sharing this with my friends and family on Facebook because it would pertain to them more, I'm not brave enough to do that....yet. However, I knew this would be a good place to share where I wouldn't be judged and gives me time to practice what I would say if I ever get the courage.

This year, for me, has been one of the roughest, toughest cowboys in the west. In comparison, the person I was last year to the one I am this year, is so completely different, it terrifies me and at some points makes me very sad. I'm not sure at what turn it happened, but it's like I hit the sturdiest, hardest brick wall and I shattered the person and their ideals/goals/ambitions/etc. that I was, was left with this new person, and didn't really take many of the old pieces with the new one. It was that fast, that shocking, and that scary. This new person isn't sure if it's a good or bad thing. I mean, I miss a lot of the other me, but know that I'm never going to get that one back, and I'm not sure if I'm ok with that yet. And if I'm not ok with that, then how can other people be ok with it? That's why I feel that I don't talk to a lot of the people that I should/used to (i.e. family/friends). I'm proud of what I've done, but not with what I'm doing currently and don't know how to get back to being proud of what I'm doing. However, at least I'm still going. And hopefully one day, I'll get out of this "funk" and be able to say, "yes, I've been through that but I'm happy of who I am now", but that day isn't today nor tomorrow. It is an unmarked day in the future and I hope that it gets here soon, because dealing with trying to be comfortable in this new person and trying to do damage control (to some extent) for what the other one did, is unbelievably difficult.

I'm sorry that you're going through a tough time right now. I kind of get how you're feeling, I went through something that gave me a similar feeling, in my teenage years. There is another side to it, once you manage to push through and get there, and it's a lot more pleasant and comfortable. I hope you feel better soon.

[SunkistShiek]

Thanks so much SuperKJ! I'm still trying to figure things out and am starting to wonder if that's even possible but I'm trucking along.

There is something else though that I'd like to ask everyone's opinion on.

So, I've been with my boyfriend for 5 years, 1 of which we have lived together. We currently have on car that we have to share which is ok because we are currently on similar schedules, so it works out. However, I hate my job. Like, a lot. They mandate you on a moments notice so you could go in thinking you're working an 8 hour shift, get mandated, and be working a 16 hour shift. We are union (which I'm beginning to like less and less), an the people abuse the loop holes that all the union rules have, and most of the people are crap anyway. Before, I continue to write a whole book about everything that's been goin on, I'll just say again, I hate my job.....that I've been working at for ONLY 3 months. So with all of that going on, I recently found a job that sounds like something I would want to do to build up money and repay my loans/ bills on until I figure out what I want to get my masters in. I would be a receptionist for a city near me, be making a tiny bit more that now but have all weekends and holidays off because it's a government job. Have benefits (which I have some from my current job), and my schedule would be soooo dependable. I was really excited about it, applied, and they want me to come in to take a pre-employment test for it, which is one because from what I've researched, I think I'll do really well. So I've been talking about it a lot the last couple days and...

.....My boyfriend doesn't want me to go for it. He doesn't want us to be on different schedules, which I understand because we wouldn't see each other at all. Plus there's the fact we only have one vehicle and our shedules would overlap so someone would be panicking about trying to get there or come home.

I really want the experience because when we move in a couple years, I'll be able to get a similar job easier, but he brings up valid things and I don't like that I'd be purposely making him sad. I just don't know what to do, guys.

[Eliste]

.....My boyfriend doesn't want me to go for it. He doesn't want us to be on different schedules, which I understand because we wouldn't see each other at all. Plus there's the fact we only have one vehicle and our shedules would overlap so someone would be panicking about trying to get there or come home.

I really want the experience because when we move in a couple years, I'll be able to get a similar job easier, but he brings up valid things and I don't like that I'd be purposely making him sad. I just don't know what to do, guys.

You need to do what is best for you, regardless of his feeling.

In my opinion, anyone who truly cares about you will support you in making decisions that are what is best for you, even if it impacts on them negatively.

When I was in college, I got the opportunity to spend a year abroad. My bf of the time flat out said "don't go." We broke up, I went, and it was one of the best choices I've ever made (I now live there, am engaged and happy).

Contrast that with my fiancé, who, when I said I was miserable enough in my job that I was having self-harm thoughts about it and wanted to quit to go back to school, said "do it" even though he knew that it would mean he wouldn't be able to go back to school himself because he would be the only income. (We managed anyway, but he's still in the job he hates cause we need the money).

I'm not saying you should leave him, but you should consider what is truly best for you and do that. Good opportunities don't show up everyday, and this one sounds like a good one. I would take it if I were you.

Even if he isn't happy at first, just making you less unhappy might change things in the relationship for the better. It did when I quit.

[Hellfire]

.My boyfriend doesn't want me to go for it. He doesn't want us to be on different schedules, which I understand because we wouldn't see each other at all. Plus there's the fact we only have one vehicle and our shedules would overlap so someone would be panicking about trying to get there or come home.

I really want the experience because when we move in a couple years, I'll be able to get a similar job easier, but he brings up valid things and I don't like that I'd be purposely making him sad. I just don't know what to do, guys.

Surely by you going for this new job and earning a bit extra, you could then afford a second car so there would be no panic for the future.

It sounds to me that the positives for going for the job outweigh the negatives.

A friend of mine and her partner are on opposing schedules to each other and they love it. It works out they get a day or two together over the week on their days off. But where they aren't under each other's feet all the time, they don't argue as much as when they were working similar hours.

[SuperKJ]

No worries, SunkistShiek.

I have to say I agree with Hellfire and Eliste - the positives seem to outweigh the negatives. Sometimes you need to think of yourself rather than others, and it's totally okay to do that! I think it's better to go for it, and be in a job that makes you happy, because those positive feelings will also transfer into other aspects of your life. I know that if I was in your position and I didn't go for the job, I'd be kicking myself, and thinking, 'What if?'.

Good luck, and I hope everything works out for you!

[QueenBex]

Opportunities like this don't come up that much, life is too short to be miserable all the time. He will support you in your decision no matter what happens, if he doesn't, then he's not the one for you. Extra money would be good, think about trains and buses if sharing the car is too tight. And of course those moments you have together will be extra special.
If your moving soon anyway, it's temporary, and who knows what the future will bring.