Birth Records - Need Advice Please!

[katdun]

A girl I graduated with and her little sister are each pregnant with their first child and due within about a month of each other, so I planned to stitch each baby a little something as a gift. We just found out the younger sister's baby was stillborn this morning - baby was full term with no sign of trouble ahead. I was thinking of making a memorial stitch for her, but then I also found out that the older sister had a miscarriage a couple years ago (I had no idea). I don't want to completely ignore the younger sister's loss and only give something to the older sister for her new baby, but I also don't want to give a memorial to one and not the other.

I think if it was my own loss, I'd like to have something I could look at and hold even if I couldn't bear to have it displayed all the time. Or is it too painful to have a reminder? Especially if it comes years later? I'm not that close to either sister anymore, so another option is to give neither a gift. They wouldn't be expecting me to send anything, but I did mention to their dad (we're coworkers) that I planned to make them something. I have no idea what to do.

Does anyone have any thoughts or experience with this subject? Is there maybe something else I could do for them instead of a stitch? What would you want or need in that situation? Any suggestions are welcome - thanks for reading!

[blackmageheart]

That's so sad. The loss of any baby is heartbreaking, but a baby born sleeping must be absolutely devastating.

Regarding gifts, it really depends on the person. I know a few ladies who have gone through the awful pain of a stillborn baby and they've all dealt with the remembrance differently. I would suggest maybe talking to your friend about it? Tell her you had planned to make them both gifts and now you're not sure what to do. She will know her sister best, and may have some thoughts on what you could do (or not do, as the case may be.)

The only other thing I could think of, is something that one of the ladies I mentioned before always suggests - to donate some money to a stillbirth and neonatal death charity. In the UK we have Sands, I'm sure there must be something in the US like that too.

Hope that helps

[katdun]

Thanks, BMH! I asked her sister, and she linked me to a GoFundMe account someone had set up for the funeral expenses. I donated to that, but I still feel so bad for their family.