Tell me a joke...

[jadely]

I have 2 today:

Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Ach.
Ach Who?
Bless you!

What type of material are Mario and Luigi's overalls made out of?
Denim denim denim (said to the tune of the 2 level from the original game it sounds so funny when said out loud the right way!)

[Mine Chan]

At an Irish wedding reception someone yelled:
"Would all the married men, please stand next to the one person who had made your life worth living."
The bartender was almost crushed to death.

I always hated weddings, because the elderly would come over and poke me saying: "You're next."
They stopped doing it when I started doing it to them at funerals.

[BooChocoBoom]

Alright, alright I'll throw a couple of bad ones in:

How do crazy people get through the forest?
On the psychopath.

What do you call a dog with no legs?
Anything you want, he'll never come.

And a slightly longer one:
A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller.
He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.

"Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a vacation."

Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger,
and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager.

Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.

The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.

Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank
manager and disappears into a back office.

She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000,
and he wants to use this as collateral."

She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"The bank manager looks back at her and says...

"It's a knick-knack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan.
His old man's a Rolling Stone."

[CrazyCucco11]

Why did the scarecrow get a promotion?---because he was out-standing in his field!!

Why do cows wear bells (around their necks)? ---because their horns dont work!

They r clean jokes for all ages

[StitchWitch]

The pirate one just made me bust a gut! Thanks to who posted that.


"I'm a little tea pot, short and stout. Here is my handle, here is my handle..... crap. I'm a sugar bowl."

[icedragonj]

Two drums and a cymbol fell of a cliff, ba dom crash!

The red house is made out of red bricks, the blue house is made out of blue bricks, what is the green house made out of?
glass.

the red man lives in the red house, the blue man lives in the blue house, who lives in the white house?
the president.

[Blink190]

Loved the Frog joke.

Dunno if anyone here has seen any of his stuff, but this video is a combination of really bad puns, I loved it:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6tDRBb0a ... ature=plcp

[LucyInTheSky]

And a slightly longer one:
A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller.
He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.

"Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a vacation."

Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger,
and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager.

Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.

The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.

Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank
manager and disappears into a back office.

She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000,
and he wants to use this as collateral."

She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"The bank manager looks back at her and says...

"It's a knick-knack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan.
His old man's a Rolling Stone."

OMG, when I read the punchline I laughed so hard. Best joke ever